What's Up With A**holes?: How to spot and stop them without becoming one.

Hassled by a**holes, know-it-alls, difficult people, buttheads, narcissists, gas lighters, dark triad personalities, psychopaths, braindead swellheads, tyrants, bad bosses, domineering relatives, or nasty exes? Bracing yourself for an asshole cult epidemic? Fascinated by fictional dumbasses? Face it, a**holes are on your mind. But what distinguishes them? A butthead can't just be anyone with whom you happen to butt heads. This non-partisan book attempts to explain a**holery as objectively, scientifically, intuitively, entertainingly, and pragmatically as possible. It’s an advanced psychoproctology course for beginners useful to scholars and everyday folk alike, a masterclass in how to diagnose, treat and prevent a**holery. A**holes grant themselves a trump card and a wild card – absolute freedom and safety – no deed too dirty for gods like them. Posing as absolutely right, righteous, and mighty, they can do anything and whatever they do is perfect. A**holery is an alluring lifestyle option if one can get away with it. Many books explore how to escape and/or connect with difficult people. In contrast, this book argues that we can’t always escape them and that seeking a way to connect with them often enables them. Sometimes we have to fight assholes making them face consequences. This book suggests two overlooked key strategies for making a**holery costly without becoming an asshole in the process. As our world becomes more overwhelming, the asshole lifestyle becomes more alluring. This book argues that the asshole lifestyle is the root cause of most of our current crises and the most likely cause of human extinction if we don’t learn how to humbly humble them. Being an a**hole has nothing to do with what one claims to believe and everything to do with how one struts it, playing god, ruler of reality. That’s a recipe for non-survival. In a free, adaptive society we don't get to tell everyone how to live. Still, we have to constrain assholes or it won't remain a free and adaptive society. This is therefore not a book about what everyone must do but about what no one should be allowed to get away with doing. It is our civic duty to make the asshole lifestyle costly. The moral question for our times and the personal question for many of us is how to humbly humble people who will do anything to avoid humility. "My 90+ years have taught me that people can be as stupid as necessary to maintain their livelihoods. This fun yet profound book details just how that works and what we can do about it." Daniel Ellsberg, behavioral economics pioneer, and Pentagon Papers whistleblower "Though I work to bring opponents together in respectful dialogue, I recognize that there's just no talking to some people. This rigorous, intuitive, humorous book is a brilliant exploration of such mindsets and how to deal with them." Joan Blades, Living Room Conversations, Co-founder MoveOn.org "A rigorous analysis of what sustains jerkdom and how to make it unsustainable." Owen Flanagan, James B. Duke University Professor of Philosophy, Duke University "I've read many books about dealing with difficult people. This one is heads above the rest. Jeremy's grounded, practical insights have proven pivotal for me. I've even gone back to school to get a master's focused on psychoproctology." Louise Prior, high school math teacher "Sherman is on to something crucial here, ideas we need if we are to survive." Andrew Boyd, author of Daily Afflictions, co-founder of the Climate Clock.